lmfao drunk/ high phone calls with Schyler »»»

dear god xD

My iPods on shuffle and “i just had sex” just came on, blasting at full volume. My mom just opened my door and gave me the weirdest look. I gave her the “wut, I’m just too lazy to get off my bed and skip it” look lmao

"instead of life throwing me a curve ball, it threw me a sperm ball"

lmfao ohhhh snookie